Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Dog Food Diet

I have 2 dogs and I was buying a large bag of Pal at Big W and standing in line at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting the Pet Diet again although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works is to load your pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because of poison in the dog food. I told her no; it was because I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door. Stupid woman .... why else would I be buying dog food?

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